September 2011
Well, who'd have thought it - Denise blogging?
Me - a 48 year old wife, mum and part-time admin assistant? Sure what would I know about all this new fangled technology?
Do you know what, I have been just bursting to voice my opinion on something which I am truly passionate about and I thought, 'hell, why not give blogging a go - maybe someone will listen'. And, thank you Claire (my beautiful daughter) for encouraging me to do so :)
So, here it is:
IT'S OK TO BE GREY!
Grey is OK!
This blog is about my journey to grey and includes advice and useful links. Feel free to make comments and add any more tips of your own :)
Live and Let Dye Die
I always say 'each to his/her own'.
Deciding to go grey is a very personal decision and it's not for everyone. I decided to ditch the dye at the age of 45 for a number of reasons. My decision was based on the fact that as I was getting older I felt I did not look natural with brown hair. And, this might sound funny but my eyebrows didn't match my dyed hair colour! As we age, our complexions get lighter and I found that continuing to dye my hair brown actually made me look older - it emphasised the aging lines in my skin. I noticed too that, as is normal for women of the peri-/menopausal phase of life, my hair was getting a little thinner, especially at the front - so my scalp was more visible through the dyed hair. I was frustrated by the fact that I was having to colour it every two weeks to get rid of the new grey regrowth coming through and I resented putting chemicals onto my scalp which might not be a healthy thing to do. I thought to myself, 'stop fighting it, let the colour grow out and see what I really look like'. So I gave it a go.
Deciding to go grey is a very personal decision and it's not for everyone. I decided to ditch the dye at the age of 45 for a number of reasons. My decision was based on the fact that as I was getting older I felt I did not look natural with brown hair. And, this might sound funny but my eyebrows didn't match my dyed hair colour! As we age, our complexions get lighter and I found that continuing to dye my hair brown actually made me look older - it emphasised the aging lines in my skin. I noticed too that, as is normal for women of the peri-/menopausal phase of life, my hair was getting a little thinner, especially at the front - so my scalp was more visible through the dyed hair. I was frustrated by the fact that I was having to colour it every two weeks to get rid of the new grey regrowth coming through and I resented putting chemicals onto my scalp which might not be a healthy thing to do. I thought to myself, 'stop fighting it, let the colour grow out and see what I really look like'. So I gave it a go.
The Journey to Grey ...
It was a difficult road ...
I went ‘cold turkey’ and it took me about a year, with a lot of patience, to grow out the dyed coloured hair. Firstly, I decided to get my hair cut short - it had been in a bob style. During the growing out phase my hair was such a mess, a mixture of the old dyed colour, my new natural dark brown and the grey coming through. I felt that I looked like I was letting myself go - that I didn't care about how I looked. Of course this is not true - I really cared! And, being honest, it was so difficult.
I purchased a book at this time and it really helped me to keep going: 'Going Gray' by Anne Kreamer. In her book, Anne Kreamer describes her own personal journey to grey. I owe so much to this author - her book gave me great hope and confidence to carry on. [Thank you Anne!]
I stuck with growing out the colour and every time I had a new cut I could see the grey/white strands of hair shining through more and more (especially round my face like a light). It was like a metamorphosis. I felt so free - free of the shackles of colour - free to be the real me. I can't wait for my hair to go even greyer/whiter and hope to enjoy the continuing journey. For me, it's not just the outer look, it's how I feel inside too.
I went ‘cold turkey’ and it took me about a year, with a lot of patience, to grow out the dyed coloured hair. Firstly, I decided to get my hair cut short - it had been in a bob style. During the growing out phase my hair was such a mess, a mixture of the old dyed colour, my new natural dark brown and the grey coming through. I felt that I looked like I was letting myself go - that I didn't care about how I looked. Of course this is not true - I really cared! And, being honest, it was so difficult.
I purchased a book at this time and it really helped me to keep going: 'Going Gray' by Anne Kreamer. In her book, Anne Kreamer describes her own personal journey to grey. I owe so much to this author - her book gave me great hope and confidence to carry on. [Thank you Anne!]
I stuck with growing out the colour and every time I had a new cut I could see the grey/white strands of hair shining through more and more (especially round my face like a light). It was like a metamorphosis. I felt so free - free of the shackles of colour - free to be the real me. I can't wait for my hair to go even greyer/whiter and hope to enjoy the continuing journey. For me, it's not just the outer look, it's how I feel inside too.
Destination Grey: clothes and make-up - adapting to the new look
I consider my grey as a new colour – not the absence of colour
Clothes
Once I had grown out my dyed colour, I quickly learned that it is not enough to go grey and expect to wear the same colours in clothing and make-up. I had to look at my colour palette and discovered that I could no longer wear warm autumnal colours like browns, creams, beige, green and yellow because these simply did not go with grey. In fact, they look terrible with my grey hair! I had to re-stock my wardrobe with cool colours to match my new look, ie black, charcoal, certain blues, aubergine, purple, certain pinks, white. The bottom line for me is to avoid colours that contain any warm yellowy tones.
Make-up
I had to look at my make-up and learned to highlight my face so that it did not look washed out. I use a slightly lighter foundation both in colour and texture, some pink/natural blusher, smokey/taupey/silvery eye shadows, charcoal grey eyeliner, black mascara, and pink/natural lipstick. I learned to define my eyes and lips so that they stand out but in a natural way to complement the lighter hair around my face.
Jewellery
I discovered that I could no longer wear gold jewellery as it did not go with my new appearance. I now wear silver and it looks stunning with grey/silver hair - a perfect match.
Clothes
Once I had grown out my dyed colour, I quickly learned that it is not enough to go grey and expect to wear the same colours in clothing and make-up. I had to look at my colour palette and discovered that I could no longer wear warm autumnal colours like browns, creams, beige, green and yellow because these simply did not go with grey. In fact, they look terrible with my grey hair! I had to re-stock my wardrobe with cool colours to match my new look, ie black, charcoal, certain blues, aubergine, purple, certain pinks, white. The bottom line for me is to avoid colours that contain any warm yellowy tones.
Make-up
I had to look at my make-up and learned to highlight my face so that it did not look washed out. I use a slightly lighter foundation both in colour and texture, some pink/natural blusher, smokey/taupey/silvery eye shadows, charcoal grey eyeliner, black mascara, and pink/natural lipstick. I learned to define my eyes and lips so that they stand out but in a natural way to complement the lighter hair around my face.
Jewellery
I discovered that I could no longer wear gold jewellery as it did not go with my new appearance. I now wear silver and it looks stunning with grey/silver hair - a perfect match.
Because we are worth it too!
Caring for Grey Hair
I find that my grey hair can get a bit dull over time and, in order to keep the white strands vibrant, I use a shampoo specifically for grey hair at least once a month (or just when I notice that it needs done). I also wash my hair daily with a deep clarifying shampoo mixed with a little 2 in 1 shampoo which keeps it clean and prevents build up of product over time which can make hair look dull. I find that the texture of my hair is quite fragile so I try to avoid, as much as possible, using electric straigheners which can be damaging.
I find that my grey hair can get a bit dull over time and, in order to keep the white strands vibrant, I use a shampoo specifically for grey hair at least once a month (or just when I notice that it needs done). I also wash my hair daily with a deep clarifying shampoo mixed with a little 2 in 1 shampoo which keeps it clean and prevents build up of product over time which can make hair look dull. I find that the texture of my hair is quite fragile so I try to avoid, as much as possible, using electric straigheners which can be damaging.
What Have I Learned on the Way?
Observations ...
- I have learned that grey-haired women are in the minority and that the vast majority of women colour their hair.
- I have learned that men with grey hair are viewed differently to women. If it's OK for men to go grey and in fact praised and glorified (I'm thinking George Clooney here - and he's gorgeous) then why is it not the same for women?
- I have learned that women with grey hair are not used very much in advertising. There are very few exceptions to this, eg supermodels Yasmina Rossi, Cindy Joseph and Pia Gronning who are all naturally beautiful. However, it is generally very rare to see grey-haired women used to advertising beauty products or fashion.
- I have learned that there are very few women employed as television newsreaders and presenters.
This list goes on ...
- I have learned that grey-haired women are in the minority and that the vast majority of women colour their hair.
- I have learned that men with grey hair are viewed differently to women. If it's OK for men to go grey and in fact praised and glorified (I'm thinking George Clooney here - and he's gorgeous) then why is it not the same for women?
- I have learned that women with grey hair are not used very much in advertising. There are very few exceptions to this, eg supermodels Yasmina Rossi, Cindy Joseph and Pia Gronning who are all naturally beautiful. However, it is generally very rare to see grey-haired women used to advertising beauty products or fashion.
- I have learned that there are very few women employed as television newsreaders and presenters.
This list goes on ...
Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Grey
Advantages
- I feel a sense of freedom - both internally and externally.
- I feel I look more natural. It's funny how, if you let nature do its own thing, everything is harmonious. My eyes, skin and hair match - and, yes, my eyebrows too!
- I don't have the burden of having to physically colour my hair every two weeks.
- I am not putting chemicals onto my scalp which might not be a healthy thing to do - we don't know what they might be doing to us.
- It's free!
Disadvantages
- I sometimes miss my lustrous, shiny, rich deep brown natural colour I had when I was younger (although I don't miss the dyed colour). But, I suppose this is really a hankering after my youthful days which we all think about from time to time - a growing older thing.
- I miss being able to wear any colour under the sun.
- I don't like the way my grey hair gets dry - but I try to deal with that in my hair care products.
The advantages for me far outweigh the disadvantages and I will NEVER colour my hair again!
- I feel a sense of freedom - both internally and externally.
- I feel I look more natural. It's funny how, if you let nature do its own thing, everything is harmonious. My eyes, skin and hair match - and, yes, my eyebrows too!
- I don't have the burden of having to physically colour my hair every two weeks.
- I am not putting chemicals onto my scalp which might not be a healthy thing to do - we don't know what they might be doing to us.
- It's free!
Disadvantages
- I sometimes miss my lustrous, shiny, rich deep brown natural colour I had when I was younger (although I don't miss the dyed colour). But, I suppose this is really a hankering after my youthful days which we all think about from time to time - a growing older thing.
- I miss being able to wear any colour under the sun.
- I don't like the way my grey hair gets dry - but I try to deal with that in my hair care products.
The advantages for me far outweigh the disadvantages and I will NEVER colour my hair again!
Advertisers - Listen!
I mentioned above how grey-haired women are not used very much in advertising and in the media. The reality is that we are NOT represented.
Since I joined 'Gray and Proud' on Facebook, I have learned that there is a huge number of women who are being ignored by companies in their marketing of products. I think attitudes need to be changed about grey-haired women, ie attitudes in women themselves, society in general, the media, and in the world of beauty/fashion and advertising where trends are set and where influence is created. I am convinced that there are a lot of women who would consider going grey if they could only see how beautiful they could be by the example shown in advertising. Advertising is so powerful and has so much influence on people's attitudes and lives. So, advertisers please listen - we want to see chic and sassy grey-haired models on television, in magazines, in newspapers, on billboards, on the internet, etc!
We grey-haired women have a voice and we matter too!
Since I joined 'Gray and Proud' on Facebook, I have learned that there is a huge number of women who are being ignored by companies in their marketing of products. I think attitudes need to be changed about grey-haired women, ie attitudes in women themselves, society in general, the media, and in the world of beauty/fashion and advertising where trends are set and where influence is created. I am convinced that there are a lot of women who would consider going grey if they could only see how beautiful they could be by the example shown in advertising. Advertising is so powerful and has so much influence on people's attitudes and lives. So, advertisers please listen - we want to see chic and sassy grey-haired models on television, in magazines, in newspapers, on billboards, on the internet, etc!
We grey-haired women have a voice and we matter too!
The Future ...
My big wish is that the tide will change and that we will see more grey-haired women featured in advertising and that society will view grey-haired women as 'normal' and, yes, beautiful.
I have been writing to newspapers and magazines and to beauty and fashion companies to try to spread the word that 'It's OK to Be Grey' and to appeal to them to use grey-haired women in their advertising. I know I'm only a small voice but I won't give up trying!
I have been writing to newspapers and magazines and to beauty and fashion companies to try to spread the word that 'It's OK to Be Grey' and to appeal to them to use grey-haired women in their advertising. I know I'm only a small voice but I won't give up trying!
Advice to Anyone Considering Going Grey
- Give it a go. You've got nothing to lose. You can always colour your hair again if you don't like it.
- It's a hard journey during the transitioning period but stick with it - it's worth it in the end.
- BUY Anne Kreamer's book, 'Going Gray'.
- Join 'Gray and Proud' on Facebook. You'll get plenty of support and encouragement from the best friends anyone could ever have. You'll also see so many beautiful women who are from all walks of life and who have grey hair of all shades. You might even get hair style ideas from them! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRuR2bvA61I
- 'Google' images of the beautiful Yasmina Rossi, Cindy Joseph and Pia Gronning. These models are great ambassadors for grey-haired women and will really inspire you - believe me.
- Enjoy the new you - it's a GREAT EMPOWERING FEELING!
- It's a hard journey during the transitioning period but stick with it - it's worth it in the end.
- BUY Anne Kreamer's book, 'Going Gray'.
- Join 'Gray and Proud' on Facebook. You'll get plenty of support and encouragement from the best friends anyone could ever have. You'll also see so many beautiful women who are from all walks of life and who have grey hair of all shades. You might even get hair style ideas from them! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRuR2bvA61I
- 'Google' images of the beautiful Yasmina Rossi, Cindy Joseph and Pia Gronning. These models are great ambassadors for grey-haired women and will really inspire you - believe me.
- Enjoy the new you - it's a GREAT EMPOWERING FEELING!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)